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Thursday, September 29, 2005 A double setback in a single day. . . What can i still say. . ? expect for feeling so unfortunate and shameful. . . Firstly, it was a disgraceful AO for chemistry paper 3, then, came a bad piece of new that i didn't make it for my GP, what's next what's next. . . ? I guess i can conclude now that i screwed up my prelims, instead of waiting for all the results to be released. . ? I'm left at a situation where i am going nowhere. . The question now may be "what had happened to me.?"Perhaps the most disappointing of all was the chemistry paper 3. . . Having done so much, finishing all the preliminary questions given, and i still end up with such horrible grade. . . What went wrong. . ? Just what the hell am i doing. . . I felt so pissed with myself upon thinking of this. . . I looked so bright and promising at the start before the prelims and now, it all turned grey. . . My target, to get myself into the top 100 for the exam, all gone into the drain now i guessed. . No more. . . No more. . . "It's only preliminary". . many said. . . i knew it. . . but it wasn't about whether it's preliminary or not. . . It's about the last chance to make my mark academically in srjc examinations. . . All along, i have been close, but never a time close enough to put my name inside the top 100 students for any examination. . . It's the last time, last chance. . . but i screwed it up. . . Can't help feeling angry with myself over this. . . All the singing that i had did in K box just now hasn't help cooling the fire inside my heart. . . Haiz. .! It's all on math now to save me from making this examination the worst performance ever. . I'm not optimistic about A, but i hope with some sheer luck, i could secure either a B or C. . . Maybe then, i may still regain some hope in myself. . . Wednesday, September 28, 2005 3.23miles. . . 5.2kilometres. . . 5200metres. . . 17060feets. . . 520000 centimetres. . . 204724 inches. . 13 rounds around the school's track. . . That is how far we ran, on a single cooling day like this. . . Not a remarkable feat, but an especially enjoyable run with the company of Kelvin Si Jie and Zixiang. . . It's been long since i had a long run like this, luckily the pace was still managable, if not i would not have make it till the end. . . Recalling the days where i used to be an impressive long distance runner, the present me no longer possess the mental and physical strengths for such runs. . . but nevertheless, the main man of the run today is Si Jie. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Mission Objective: To act and destroys Si Jie's belly Status: Act 1 accomplished. Congratulations, but more tortures to come, as we proceed to train our future commando, Lim Si Jie. . . Haha. . . I'm getting tired of waiting for rong to wake up, guess no more k box action today. . It's already 4.18pm and no sign of him waking from his sleep to return my call. . . Haiz. . ! So today. . . filled with the disappointment of failing to achieve a significant grade for my chemistry practical. . . I've got a D, down from a B from mid-year. . . What can i say. .? exactly perhaps maybe blaming myself for not being able to do better. . . Tomorrow will be paper 3's turn, i wander how will i end up like. . ? Putting on a brave front and tell others i fail. .? Or maybe feel a sigh of relief that things didn't turn out as bad as i thought. . . It wouldn't be any better for me if not for the much better than expected performance from my physics paper 2. . . Managed to obtain a C grade, and proud to announce that i've got full marks from my quantum question. . . It would have been so much more better if i had not flopped so horribly for my paper 3. . . Anyway, it certainly had created a morale boosting effect on my physics. . . All the way man, physics i shall own you in A level. . .! Tuesday, September 27, 2005 Forget about A. B and C. . . Be happy with a D. . . A E will be disappointing but at least enough. . . Don't be too shocked with an AO. . . An F will be impossible. . . That's all i can say after today's correction session for chemistry paper 3. . . After seeing myself putting through a reasonably amount of effort in chemistry- finishing all the prelim papers for all colleges, i somehow hated myself for failing to handle many of the questions inside. . . They were all similar questions which i had did before, yet i wasn't why just couldn't manage to do them. . . Though i am not really willing to admit this, but studying this much without producing some quality results just shows what a lousy learner am i. . . Definitely need to do some reflections on this. . . For now, i hope all i said about myself not achieving results that meets my own expectations are only speculations, may the reality provide me with some consolations. . .It's been a typical school day. . . spending the whole period on the Auditorium going through corrections for Math, Chem and GP. . . Going through the corrections was a painful process, especially if you recall yourself failing to get the correct answer. . . This is such a time where it's a bless to be able to forget, maybe. . . Unfortunately, i just felt my memory wasn't that bad, and being able to remember what i had written so vividly was as good as condemning me to the fate of knowing i couldn't do well so quickly. . . Nevertheless, despite saying all these rubbish, an optimistic guy like me still chose to believe that this is a blessing in disguise, or perhaps some miracle will happen that turn the tables around. . . Tomorrow. . . Made an agreement with Zixiang and Kelvin to go for a jog after school. . . It's a verbal agreement, i wasn't sure if i would really turn up. . . Missing K box for so long and i'm now thirsty for some k box actions, i will definitely chose to go for my k box session if rong is free. . . Furthermore, running under the hot sun at the time we finished lesson is going to be a torture. . . I shall suggest running on saturday early morning if possible. . . Sorry pals. . ! Monday, September 26, 2005 Today's the second day since i officially launched my blog page. . . Has been struggling to make amendments here and there so as to make it more presentable. . Guess the person who created this blogskin will hate me hell lots, i had almost changed everything that bears a resemblance to the auther's orginal creation, except for its layouts and structure. . . Anyway i did that so that at least it looks slightly different and that's what i wanted, something different. . if i can i would have chose to do my own skin. . but well, i didn't have the capability for now. . . In any case, hope that everything still look ok, i had really put in effort to decorate it with details. . .Alright, let talks about today. . . First day of school after the prelims. . . Started my morning taking the same bus with Alvin to school. . . It was real fun crapping and bullshitting throughout the journey with him. . . This 'ah beng used to be' is really damn funny and crappy. . . Heard he's going for his advanced theory for driving already. . . Envious. . If only my parent could sponsor me for driving license. . . well, anyway, study most important now, i shall get my own driving license with my own means after A level. . ! Mr Quek was on reservist today. . . and the one taking over his lesson is. . . Mr Asokan. . . F math teacher. .! Cool. . But well, not as cool as i thought, slightly sleep-inducing actually. . . Suddenly miss Mr Quek's presence. . . Heard from Mr Asokan that he will be back to return us our scripts personally. . . I hope the results will be good, not a A but at least a B or C i pray. . . There was no scripts returned to us today, but it wasn't entirely a wasted trip to school. . . For the least we get to know our physics results for paper 1,2 and 3 due to Mr Tay's kindness. . . Hear what i got to say. . . [feeling after knowing my physics results]- i know i shouldn't be feeling this happy with just an E grade, but i just can't help feeling delighted with a pass when i had expected myself to flare extremely badly, a pass to me a consolation. . . Right now i just pray that nothing screwed up for the rest of the papers and hopefully, i will be able to settle for a D eventually. . . [End] The smaller the expectation, the greater the satisfaction. . I created this and how true. . . Nevertheless, not totally a happy ending for the day. . . Bad feelings about chemistry results came, after going through my practical corrections. . . With my titration readings badly off the actual value, it will take a miracle for me to achieve a A or B for the paper. . . As for paper 1, 2 and 3, i recalled myself struggling with many of the questions and achieving good grade seems to be a low possibility. . . Perhaps even the question of passing remains an unknown for me after hearing Ms Tan revealing that there are less than 10 passes. . . I pray again, that i can pass and i'm real hungry for good grades for chemistry. . May all these happens and i will return home happily after receiving my results on the day they return the scripts. . . Sunday, September 25, 2005 I had actually wanted to end all this blogging thingy after my 100th posting. . . But well, having think about it, i realised it's not a bad thing afterall to do regular blogging. . at least i have seen it helped improved my GP, and maybe. . it has acted as a good source for me to pour in my sorrows, vent my anger and share my happiness. . . and most importantly, i realised that it had helped me understand myself and therefore, allowed me to change for the better. . Therefore, i came to this conclusion that i shall continue blogging, with a new blog address, a new blogskin etc etc. . .So. . A new blog. . . May this be a good start again. . . and hope that there are great things to come. . . |
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Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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