Friday, May 26, 2006I've got my off days. . . finally. . . Something did cock up in the process which causes a slight delay, but i'm happy enough to still be able to get myself away from the army camp from tuesday to sunday. . .
Yes. . it's my off days. . . it's not others. . . Friends. . they are mostly working, studying, in camps. . . It's quite abit of letdown that i have to spend most of my off days at home. . . Not saying that it's not good, in fact i rather slack at home than to be back in the camp. . . but well, it will have been more fun and enjoyable if i could have spent them outside with friends. . .
True enough, now that i'm in the army, there's really nothing much that i can be occupy with, except just training, training and training. . . Yet that's definitely not what i want, i do not wanna be turned into a stupid boy, after my two years in the army. . . I wanna learn something useful, i wanna gain as much knowledge and skill as possible during this time so that i won't have to struggle or find myself lacking so much behind when i return back to society as a civilian. . .
It's kinda stress thinking how to achieve all these and i've found myself having more grey hair recently. . . Ways to enrich your life in the army. . .? How i wish there's a book about that. . . I really need some guidance. . . All i can see that it hardly achieveable for now. . . given the unpredictable training schedule that's going on. . .
I wanted my bike license desperately and my class 3 before i ord. . . And it's just frustrating. . . frustrating that most of the time we spent in army is waiting. . . waiting and waiting. . . If we can just save up all these waiting time perhaps it will bring forward another 3months to my ord. . . then i can do more things with this extra time. . . There are more things that awaits us back in this society and spending one more day in the army is just like wasting one more day of your life away. . .
Stress. . . it's ironic that after leaving school, you still end up leading a life that clot up as much stress in your mind as before. . . There's just plenty to think, plenty to worry. . .
As much as i've expected it. . . i can't help feeling demoralised after receiving NTU's rejection letter. . . I'm rejected for all the 5 choices that i had chosen. . . All the while i've been so optimistic. . . i thought my results was good enough to allow to me choose a course i wanted. . . And it were all proven wrong. . . Now. . . it's up to fate to decide. . . A one last appeal for maths and econs. . . Gut feelings tells me that it's not gonna turn out right. . . I pray that's not gonna happen. . .
I can't imagine university application is giving so much of a headache. . . though i still have got a last option. . . - to accept nus arts and social sciences. . . i'm still in a dilemma whether i should accept it. . . not what i want. . . but i don't seem to have any other choice now. . .
Saturday, May 20, 2006今天， 仿佛又回到那一天， 回到４个月前的那一天。 时间回到了那一分那一秒， 那一次。 。 。 我们再一次的见面， 再一次的约会。
我们走在人潮拥挤的街上， 感觉是那么的熟悉， 那么的怀念。 那灿烂的笑容， 那美丽的脸孔依然的。。依然的存在。 她是如此， 如此的那样深深地吸引着我。 沉默的我依然那么沉默， 但心里却从来一点儿也没有感到寂寞过。 有她的陪伴， 世界就好像突然亮了起来， 使我无时无刻都感到数不尽的美好。 她就是这样， 在我心里那么。 。 特殊的一个人。
美好的日子却是那么短暂的。 和她在一起的每一分每一秒我都紧紧地握着，但却阻止不了它渐渐地从我手上流失。 不知不觉又到了告别的时候， 心里虽然有一百万个不舍， 但我只能假装潇洒地和她说了声再见， 眼睁睁地见她这样离去。 。 。
一切很快又回到了以往的日子。 这次的告别到底还要等到何时才能再次的见面。 。 ？ 我不知道。 相隔在两个不一样的世界里， 我也只能不停地想念着她， 盼望着再次相见的那一天的到临。
如此地一往情深， 或许也只是那一场单纯的单恋。 她并没说出口， 但我却感应得到。 我们是好朋友。
结果。。。。。 这已经对我不重要了。 我依然会那样的等待，守候下去。 。 不求任何回报， 只希望她过得快乐。 。 我想， 这就是我能给她的爱吧。 。 。
将来的事情谁也预知不了。 但如果她能找到自己的真爱， 我会为她而感到高兴。 。 因为， 爱一个人不等于拥有， 而是要对方过得比自己幸福。 。 。 这就是爱。 。 。
(第一个清晨)Converted from a full time national serviceman to a full time construction bangala this week. . . Working under the hot sun to put up some grandstand in the national stadium for national day parade. . -finally realised a bangala's job is really tough. . . You got yourself sweating like nobody's business, having sun burns all over your body and then aching everywhere in your muscles at the end of the day. . .
The first day of work was the scariest. . . We unloaded countless number of wooden planks, countless number of metal stands and countless number of boxes of screws and nuts. . . And yet those weren't enough for the whole construction. . . In between the days, we were still needed to wait for the arrival of new supplies. . . Waiting. . . Though it was tough working under the bloody hot sun, it was more than a suffering to be sitting down and wait. . . I can't describe how slow time is passing while we were ordered to sit down for hours just to wait for new supplies. . .
After 5 days of hardwork, we actually did have our rewards. . . An early book out on friday. . . then from next tuesday, we will be given off days until the following sunday. . . Happy. .? But it's all too early to say. . . We know how fuckup army. . . or armour can be. . . they can just call you back during your off days to give you some shit to do. . . and already there's new that this is gonna happen. . . It's not the first time. . . Friday was a good example to show how 'dynamic' this army can be. . . We were supposed to be booking out from the stadium until the last minute, where everyone had already brought their civilian items and attire along. . . It's fuckup, and we had to book out late from camp eventually. . .
A particular incident that pissed me off this week. . .
This sergeant from pioneer told a guy from mono-intake that all the zai kia of A level like him all went to sispec or ocs already, the rest of us here in unit are fuckup. . . What the fuck. .? He was on the best commander in our company and yet he is making this kinda comments. . . Immediately i lost all my respect for him and i was damn pissed. . . He was simply making this comment just because one or two guy who happens to be from bmtc cock up, and he was trying to make himself looks good and condemned the rest after the guy from mono-intake complained that we A level students can't perform our job properly. . Hypocrite. . . I don't think all those in sispec very zai lo, nor are all those from ocs. . . Going to ocs or sispec doesn't shows that you are zai, it only shows whether you know how to wayang. . i'm not surprised hypocrite like him can wayang his way into sispec. . And even most of us in unit, we missed the chance to go into command schools because we chose no to go or like me, i guess because i failed my ippt- by 2 chin ups. . But so what, i can easily thrashed most of the sergeants in the company in 2.4, and i'm really determine to clear my soc and ippt now. . . And as for that sergeant tee, i guess i can outrun him even if i let him have a 30 seconds headstart in 2.4. . . Hypocrite. .
Wednesday, May 10, 2006Arts and Social science. . .??!!! What the. . .!! I don't believe that i have actually got into my last choice in NUS. . . I never think of going into that, simply chosen it as my last choice just to fill up the vacant slot. . . Damn. . . ! It makes me ponder again whether my result is really bad. . . I can't even get into any of the course that i had chosen for my first 7 choice. . ? I'm desperate to go to business yet it seems like my result can't get me that. . A B C C6. . Is it really that bad. . ? Arghhh. . ! No matter what i wouldn't accept this course offer, i will try to appeal to another course, if possible business by hook or crook. . .
It's gonna be another frustrating week in the army. . . It's suppose to be our block leave now, after the beret presentation yesterday. . But well, it's burned. . I've just booked out yesterday night and within hours from now. . . time to book in again. . . ! And then, the whole cycle continue another time, booked out tomorrow night and in again on friday's night. . . This isn't fun at all. . . It took 2 hours of travelling time from my home to camp. . . and transportation cost is a heavy burden. . . And the most frustrating thing. . . i can't even have a decent break. . . !
It's scheduled for NDP's grandstand construction this week but for me, i have to attend some boring system maintenance course and on saturday, it's another 24hours guard duty. . . ! Haiz. . !! Give me an attend C please. .!
Memorable night was memorable. . . The most intensive tekan session i ever had. . . The whole company was punished for not falling in on time. . . For as long as 1 hours, we were 'played' around by my pc. . . -countless push-ups, even countless clunchers, alternate leg thrust, jumping jets and then doubling to and fro across the parade square, change parade, standing, squatting, high-kneeling while holding our field pack with both hands straighten. . . Totally a nightmare. . . I didn't know how i went through that, but i remember i've thought of falling out many times. . .
Army. . you get punished as a team, not as an individual. . . I wasn't late for the fall in, in fact, my platoon wasn't really late for the fall in. . . All the platoon wasn't really late except for this mortar platoon. . . I seriously hate them. . . They are made up of a bunch of cocksters and f**kers who always do stupids things, speak brainlessly and sabotage the whole company. . . This time, they were so late that when sir went up their bunk, most of them were still changing into their no.4, i guess that was why sir got so fed up. . . I don't think it's fair that we had to go through this because of their misdeed. . . But army isn't fair. . . I just cursed that someday this guys will get what they deserved, may it be sending all of them to DB. . .
Sunday, May 07, 2006Depressing. . . !!!!!
Still desperately waiting for my university acceptance letter. . . Waiting. . . and waiting. . . Lotsa my friends had already got theirs. . . Where's mine. . . ? NTU business looks like a far distance dream now. . . Friends and others, with only one or two points better than mine, had already got their interview letter. . . I seriously doubt my chance of getting into that course. . So now, i guess NUS business will be my only hope. . But as the days goes by with no news coming at all, it seems like my chance of getting into NUS business too, fading away. . . Haiz. .
Trade course is over. . but life doesn't gonna seem any much easier. . . We are prepared for more shits in the NDP preparation. . . Constructing the grandstand. . If carrying heavy load under the hot burning sun during the construction isn't enough, the CO made us do 2.4 before the construction every other day. . 42SAR. . really good at doing shitty works. . . While this coming week should be our block leave, it will be burned since we have to come back for two days to do the work. . . And if NDP isn't enough, it's gonna be another full day of guard duty on the coming saturday. . . So you not only burned your block leave, you burned your weekend. . too. . With that, it makes up 4 guard dutys within a period of 2months. . . Marvellous record. . No other companys may have done so many regimental guard dutys than us. . . Serval company=Servant company. . . Volunteer for everything. . . NDP, guard duty. . . what's next. .?
Considered myself lucky that we didn't have to burn this weekend because of demolition day and tankie live firing. . . yet due to punishment, we have to book in three hours early. . . reason. .? sloppiness and indiscipline during trade course. . . i accept it, because towards the end, the trade course is really getting too boring that everyone is seeking some sort entertainments for themselves. . Nobody wanna care about minor details like wearing helmet while inside the vehicle. . So 3 hours confinement. . . it's nothing. . .
1.罗志祥 - 搞笑
Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!)
Hangouts: K box, K pool
Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints.
Team: Full-time v3 player
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