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Sunday, February 25, 2007 If you see my short hair, don't think that i'm traumatised by anything. . . Just wanna remind myself that i'm still in the army, and all the festive celebrations are over. . . !It's been long since my hair had reached that length and i really felt as though i'm no more serving ns. . . and it's really disappointing to wake up the idea and accept the fact that there's still 9months to go. . . so well, this short hair will gonna remind me that constantly. . . anyway, throughout this 13months, i've learned to live with a short and ugly hair. . . i've learned how not to care even if i look like some crap shit with this. . . Chinese new year is over. . . block leave is over. . . wake up wake up. . . . Even though i will be on course at SIW for the coming 1 month at pasir leba camp. . . it's still army. . . even though people said it's soldiers in wonderland, it's still army. . . what wonderland can you get when you are still in the army. . . just that your life get slightly better when you are not in 42. . . And again, if you think you will be able to enjoy and forget about army during weekend, no. . . at least not for this coming few weeks. . . rumours that a turn out will occur in one of these weekends are spreading. . . every saturday and sunday you just gonna get your phone stick to you closely, preparing and waiting for the call that tell you to go back. . . and you shake on every single ringtone that goes off, thinking that it maybe the one to activate you. . . haiz. . i going back. . . waiting 061107. . . Just slightly upset that i've failed again. . . it's just due to a lapse of concentration. . . because it's still early in the morning that i have not wake up my ideas. . . 2 immediate failures and lotsa points deducted here and there. . . The start of the day itself somehow already predicted that this isn't gonna be a day to pass the lesson. . . - was on my way to the bus stop when then i realised that i haven't got my lesson booklet along. . . made u-turn back home for it and had to take a taxi down to the driving school eventually. . . Then, it was severe lapse of concentration because of the morning blues. . . it didn't help when my tummy wasn't feeling any comfortable throughout the lesson, and i couldn't focus well while riding. . . the consequences. . . fell off the bike while trying to do a last minute lane switch as i realised i was going into the wrong course too late. . . this was really stupid. . . i wonder what i was thinking then. . . and more stupid things after that. . . signalling right while i was going left. . . checking blindspot while turning instead of before turning. . . Looks like i shouldn't book any more lesson such early in the morning any more. . . i'm just 1 more lesson to tp and this is starting to take too long. . . Friday, February 23, 2007 This week gonna end really soon. . . and there goes my block leave again. . .Has spent last few days at home doing nothing meaningful. . . Playing games, sleeping, eating, watching vcds. . . . pretty good life i should say. . . well. . i got all the reason to enjoy right. . ? i've cleared my soc and ippt, so it's time to gain some weigh, relax and just wait for ord. . . of course. . . this is not gonna be possible. . there's still platoon profiency test and atec stage 1 and 2 and all the preparations coming up. . . sianz! i'm really in ord mood already. . Hasn't had any luck in gambling so far. . . Lost $44 in blackjack. . . I was actually winning at first. . . doing well, playing like a god of gambling with everyone staring mouths wide open at the kinda luck i was having. . . and then, all of a sudden, it all changed. . . that was after i became the banker. . felt guilty for winning their money and i volunteered to be the banker. . . turning point. . my cards got lousy, and not only did i ended up losing all that i've won, but i've to even take out money from my wallet to pay for the losses. . . That was only the first day of new year. . . heavy losses. . . and for the rest of the time i gambled this new year, there were only loss, loss and loss. . . the cards came in those form like, 14 15 16 where you will be dead once you draw a big card. . . this year is not the year to gamble man. . Monday, February 19, 2007 The tears, that came, we know, were tears of happiness. . . and we could all see that he had enjoyed the evening. . .As a friend, a long time buddy, it's really great to see that he has had a great time, a great 21 birthday, and that all the effort from jia liang and zhen wei in organising the party have not gone in vain. . . I felt guilty. . that not only did i haven't done anything, i haven't feel very right in both celebrations. . . I had a tired week. . . slept barely 3 hours the night before the first celebration, and the second one, still, rest still wasn't efficient to regain the energy expended, having to do the area cleaning at home for the entire new year eve. . . That accounted, why, i'm as though, emotionless, much of the time. . . That was the main reason, but there's a second one. . . Part of the reason. . . that most people there, his classmates and other friends, were strangers to me. . . you know i can't socialise really well. . . much worse when i felt too tired to try. . . much worse when most of the strangers there were girls. . . you know i still haven't been able to get rid of that shy thing in me. . . much worse when my self esteem is rock bottom this time. . . maybe next time will be better. . I still wanna contribute something to this party for my great buddy. . with the bill ran up to 800 plus, the only thing feasible was to share the cost. . . and i did, it wasn't alot, as liang insisted that i don't pay too much. . i wouldn't mind paying more if not. . . occasion like this don't come often, and i seriously don't mind spending for an happy occasion for a great friend. . . Sunday, February 18, 2007 So. . . i went home in this first day of the chinese new year, feeling horrible as the effects were surprisely long lasting. . . till the moment i fell asleep, the giddiness was still there. . .the only thing was, that i wasn't knocked out. . . like many others. . . it's vodka afterall. . . It was rong's 21st birthday. . . and there were two gatherings held to celebrate this significant day for him. . . the first was the one we had at the pub, and another was held at k box. . A surprise. . . liang had planned a k box party for him. . . not sure how he did it, but it was certainly a surprise that worth touching any person to tears. . . as thought that it was just a celebration with our normal group of friends at k box, in he saw, as he opened the door of the karaoke room, his classmates, buddies, parents and sister. . . happy birthday. . !! it was just like one of the scene shown in many of the local dramas i've seemed. . . the protagonist was close to tears. . . but not until after he had sang a few songs, cut the birthday cake, played a few games with the guests and had a few drinks that the tears actually flowed. . . true, for most men, they spent most of their time trying to control their feelings when the best way is to let it out. . . and the only time when they let it out is either when they are alone, or when they are anaesthetised from the surrounding, like when you had a bit too much of a drink. . . It was the first time i saw him crying. . . and i understand better than most of others, that to just let him just be alone and let it out. . . 21st birthday, to have to celebrate with not only your friends, but also your family members, is really something that's too good to be true to believe. . . I guess i've been drinking too much recently. . . i felt guilty. . . i'm not prepared to live a few more years shorter with all those alcohol deposited into my liver. . . gonna put a stop to this. . . Went home drunk for the second consecutive new year of the year. . . 'Drunk'. maybe a word too strong to use. . . I was at a pub somewhere near paradise, again, another gathering to celebrate rong's birthday. . . Honestly, though i was there, i wasn't prepared to be drinking much. . . No doubt it was a drinking occasion, a drinking place, but having knew that my alcohol intake has been too much over the healthy level already, i was rather determined not to contribute more to this. . . Yet you know. . . we were celebrating rong's birthday, you don't wanna be a wet blanket, nor a spoiler. . . everyone's drinking and having fun, shouldn't you just join in. . . lotsa excuses to drink, isn't it. . . so. . . i ended drinking. . . it was only vodka. . . by the time i was in the game of drinking, most of the rest were already knocked out. . as a result of chevas regal. . . true, vodka's already nothing when others are drinking hard liquor like this. . . but to drink with an empty stomach was really a different thing, as i realised yesterday. . . The effects came like a sudden burst of fire, i didn't feel it. . . going fine and strong until the game stopped. . in 20 minutes. . . then all of a sudden, my tummy felt horrible, my vision became blurred, the giddiness arrived. . . that was after i stood up from my seat, when blood that carried the toxic liquor got transmitted all over your body. . . what worse was, while vomitting may make you feel better, you couldn't get anything out, because there wasn't anything in your stomach to be vomited out. . . This blogger thing is really screwed up. . . getting impatient with all the crap problems it's giving. . . -entries more than certain length always can't be posted -sometimes cant even enter the blogging page. . . i'm changing. . ! gonna find another better server elsewhere and send my entries through there. . Sunday, February 11, 2007 Alright, this week is gonna be the last week before chinese new year arrived. . .I'm expecting it to be another tiring week. . . Look at my schedule. . . monday we have some NE visits for the entire day as part of the celebration for total defence day. . . and wednesday. . . is valentine day. . . ! I'm gonna be doing my soc test. . . and hopefully i can clear, then it will be a good day for me. . . but after that, i will a guard duty to do. . . depressing. . . well i don't have a valentine day anyway. . . Thursday we have a combat shoot. . . hopefully i can bring a marksman back, though i'm not too optimistic about it. . . and friday. . . a half day, we have chinese new year celebration. . . anticipating some lame concert or events. . . that will end the week then. . . and we will go for a long chinese new year leave. . . I've cleared my lesson 7. . . Not overjoyed with that, for i somehow expected myself to pass this one. . . After retaining for so many lessons, the experiences gained had been enough to guide me through. . . i was confident of that from the start. . . riding through the test route smoothly. . . and well, perhaps the thing that made me sniggered after the lesson was that i'm the only one in the group who made it through. . . Actually i wasn't really keen to pass the lesson now that i think of it. . . because i can forsee that the next lesson will be another disastrous experience for me. . . circuit plus road assessment. . . i seriously doubt with my capability, i will be able to clear it without a long 4-5 tries. . . gonna be another traumatising time if it ended this way. . . Friday, February 09, 2007 Now then, thursday's ippt result. . . I've got my ippt gold for second year. . . !! cheers. . .!!! no more ippt . . .It was a nervy night before the test. . . and moments before it. . . i was breaking cold sweat. . . it was crucial one. . . one that decide whether you can relax, or continue to train doubly hard and wait for the next test. . . First hurdle. . . chin-ups. . . i was relieved that my injured hand didn't show any sign of giving me any problem to do the 10 needed to secure gold. . . Up and up and up. . . i didn't expect it to be such an easy feat. . . i did 10, enough to cross the hurdle safely. . . the rest were peanuts. . . sit-ups, standing broad jumps, shuttle runs. . . . Then the last hurdle, the most critical and toughest. . . I've did that before and this time, i wasn't prepare to screw up. . . Off i went. . . a painful run, running long distance is always painful. . . but i know if i can't endure the pain and go all out, gold was definitely out of reach. . . done. .! a finally burst and i cleared. . . 935. . . a 20 plus seconds dropped of my previous record. . . but who cares as long as i cleared. . and i've cleared my ippt hurdles. . . up next. . soc. . . i'm looking forward to a good life in camp already. . . On the same day. . . we had our night out and i went out. . to jurong point. . . when i was back, i did the first thing i've ever done in my life again. . . i flared out and gave nicholas a piece of mind. . . yes, the signaller, nicholas tan. . . while we were still packing our things after coming back, he switched off the light. . . not once but twice and thrice, without even giving us any warning. . . i wasn't prepared to tolerate this nonsense for the third time. . . chong hong leslie and the rest wasn't here, left with me, joey and few of the others. . . he thought we won't dare to fuck him, he thought nobody will screw him. . . pissed off already, i firmly told him off not to switch off the light first, and he didn't took the words. . . he said someone, who obviously not any of us present then switch off the light while he was still writing the previous night. . . clearly he meant, pay back. . . and he actually picked us to vent his frustration on. . . i shouted. . . and was to the extent of wanting to go forward and give him a punch. . . and joey stopped me. . . i wanted to continue with my scoldings and i haven't used any abusive words on him. . . but joey insisted that i stopped. . . he shouted for me to stop. . . joey's a good friend, and i know he's really kind. . . he said he don't want any trouble. . . so, i stopped, on his account, and the light, is off. . . it was just then the rest came back. . . i seriously thought this guy need to be taught a lesson. . . i wouldn't hesitate to give him a thrashing if i could. . . let him be afraid of you, then he won't think of doing such stupid unreasonable things. . . i should let him know that i'm not from those kinda prestigious school who mix with people who only know how to study and play lame games. . . pissed off with this guy man. . . Then on tuesday. . . we had our soc training. . . . full load run down. . . with dummy magazines. . . spike sop box, cortex jacket and two full filled water bottles. . . I'm not that good with soc actually. . . with that kinda heavy loads on me, it was extremely difficult for me to go fast. . . or maybe, if i could clear the swinging trainer with the amount of weights, i will be able to fare well. . . but no, i failed the rundown on both timing and obstacle, the swinging trainer. . . and at the end of first rundown, my hands already bruised with blood clot blisters. . . got from repeated attempts on the swinging trainer. . . afraid that the injury will affect my thursday's ippt performance. . for the first time in my life, i fell out in soc training. . . Next wednesday gonna be the actual test. . . 14 feb, valentine day. . . what a great day to do soc. . . confident is still running high despite the poor showing. . . i'm quite sure that i can pass without that much weights on me. . . This was gonna be either a very bad week, or a very good week. . . And it turned out, it was a good week. . . I started the week not knowing that thursday was an ippt. . . only did i knew on monday night about this, and there was totally no time for any real preparation. . . Worse, we had an entirely physical straining first two days of the week. . . Monday we had our 8 km route march. . . Unlike other route marches, spike's platoon route marches are always that strenous, always that physically demanding and always that mentally challenging. . . Having to carry that 20 over kilograms of weapon system and missiles are really no joke. . . Even as a driver, i experienced it myself. . . just recently on monday. . . PC made all the drivers took over the 2 missiles from the gunner 2s, and the signallers took over the weapon system from the gunner 1s during the last 2 km. . . originally, drivers and signallers only need to carry field pack as well as signal set for the signallers. . . tekan session. . .! with that 20-30plus kg thing on my back, he purposely took the route with the steep up slope. . . i can feel my back going lower and lower on every step i take. . . almost touching the ground. . but of course. . . i endured through. . . i understand how it feels now, and i understand how much the gunners are suffering. . . it was really hell of a time. . . This was gonna be either a very bad week, or a very good week. . . And it turned out, it was a good week. . . I started the week not knowing that thursday was an ippt. . . only did i knew on monday night about this, and there was totally no time for any real preparation. . . Worse, we had an entirely physical straining first two days of the week. . . Monday we had our 8 km route march. . . Unlike other route marches, spike's platoon route marches are always that strenous, always that physically demanding and always that mentally challenging. . . Having to carry that 20 over kilograms of weapon system and missiles are really no joke. . . Even as a driver, i experienced it myself. . . just recently on monday. . . PC made all the drivers took over the 2 missiles from the gunner 2s, and the signallers took over the weapon system from the gunner 1s during the last 2 km. . . originally, drivers and signallers only need to carry field pack as well as signal set for the signallers. . . tekan session. . .! with that 20-30plus kg thing on my back, he purposely took the route with the steep up slope. . . i can feel my back going lower and lower on every step i take. . . almost touching the ground. . but of course. . . i endured through. . . i understand how it feels now, and i understand how much the gunners are suffering. . . it was really hell of a time. . . Then tuesday. . . we had soc training. . .!! full run down with loads. . . dummy magazines, two full water bottle, spike sop box, cortex jacket. . . i would say i'm not that good with soc. . . probably not that good with all these heavy loads. . . i couldn't clear the swinging trainer. . . though i finished the run down eventually, my hands were bruised with blood clot blisters. . . that worried me. . . afraid that i won't be able to do chin-ups on thursday. . . and so, for the first time in my life, i fell out in soc training. . . Sunday, February 04, 2007 A new favourite pastime. .?Was at a pub somewhere at upper serangoon with my usual bunch of friends, rong, wei, liang and willy. . . Had a few drinks, played card games, dice games, lame games, sang songs, talk cock. . . It was well, a good way to gather at such a place with your good friends to relax and enjoy. . . perhaps when i start to like it, i will begin to make it more of a frequent practise to visit such pubs. . . Though, i thought most pubs have a messy environment. . . with people smoking cigarettes, people getting drunk etc. . . but well, guys our age are old enough to protect ourselves and as long as there's place to enjoy yourself, such things didn't matter much. . . you just mind your own business and nothing much will go wrong. . . While at the place, i came across this girl who happened to be my secondary school junior. . . I didn't know of this fact until she told me so. . . and she was asking whether i know bernard. . . bernard was of course, one of the popular personnel in my batch. . . we do know each other. . . but this girl, who wasn't even from my batch appears to know lotsa other guys from my batch too. . . friendly and outgoing person. . ? She was working there and came occasionally to our table to 'entertain' us. . . as in talk or join us in our game. . . she actually look quite decent and innocent. . . until i saw her smoking. . . impression change. . . if i'm not wrong, she's from 1989, not consider 18 until she has lived past her birthday. . . so isn't there a bit underage to smoke. . ? anyway. . . who can be so decent to be working in a pub. . .? is this a stereotype. .? maybe most i've seemed isn't so decent to me. . . but nevertheless, this young girl appeared to be interested in willy. . . they exchanged numbers before we left. . . and i wander whether he had went back to fetch her after sending us back. . . Saturday, February 03, 2007 It's just a day where you screwed up almost every single things that you do. . .Back from my bike lesson. . . and i'm gonna say. . . i fail again. . . If there's anything that's giving or has gave me an hell of a time learning. . . that will be learning this ride this darn thing, motorbike. . . If i can have anything to say about this, i will say that i'm exceptionally lousy at operating this two tyre vehicle. . . I failed again and again, despair, depressed, demoralised, disappointed, disillusioned. . . . sometimes i really think whether i should just forget it and go for my class 3 instead. . . yet well, it's not like me to give up doing anything half way through. . . but i really needa lotsa determination here. . . Maybe you really need luck in this. . . just last week i was riding fine, on the verge of passing, and today, it seemed i almost screwed everything up. . . it was a perfectly lousy day. . . everything was going wrong, even the instructor himself wasn't quite right. . . Even when he had failed me, he was saying all the shit like i tried to help you to pass, but can't help it. . . . He said i should ride more often and learn in the process. . . i just wander how the hell am i gonna ride more often when i have to spend 5 days every week in camp. . . haiz. . . i'm really damn sian with this. . . just give me the license can. . ? arghh. Friday, February 02, 2007 Down. . . My desktop is down. .. everything inside is gone. . . darn. . .It's friday. . . and i'm at home now. . . It's my day off after the 3 days 2 night outfield with the mortar training wing. . . It's over. . . the outfield. . . has been a long long 3 days outside. . . Even though we were practically doing nothing except driving for all of the time, that was exactly the hardest part. . . While i've brought some books and magazine to occupied myself, they weren't enough to cure the boredom. . . so sometimes you will just watch the trainees do their trainings or sometimes you stare in blank spaces. . . that's how you get past the days. . . At night. . . it's just difficult for you to get to sleep. . . outfield. . it's exceptionally cold at night. . . snuggle through the night as the cold seep through the no.4 and make you shiver sometimes. . . Then, there's the ever irritating mosquitoes. . . buzzing near your ears. . . and for the first night, we slept on the wooden benches in the training shed that was so hard and narrow that it was impossible to be comfortable and sleep peacefully. . . It's just suffering when there's outfield. . . |
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1.罗志祥 - 搞笑
Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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