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Thursday, May 29, 2008 I havent been blogging for ages. . i didnt feel like blogging nowadays. . too lazy to do so. . and whenever i feel like doing so, im either tired or nothing just comes to my mind. .Nothing interesting to say also. . or maybe there is, but by the time im in the right place and right state to put it down in words, ive cleanly forgotten it all. . Maybe soon or later i will be closing this blog down. . Im too bored right now. . that's why im blogging. . too tired to do anything else, except to stare at the computer, i don't know what i can do. . there isnt seem to be any good person there to talk to in msn, i feel like going to sleep this early. . Tomorrow may be the last day in school, mrs cheng still havent confirm whether i will be back next term. . she said most probably, but cant confirm. . she will call me again. . alright. . i will wait for her call then, meaning i cant make any plan for term 2 as yet, till that call arrived. . At this point, i can sorta draw a conclusion to my 'teaching' career. . I cant teach. . im really lousy at it. . the students should know best. . when it comes to tutoring, i realised it's quite manageable for me. . but when it comes to teaching in front of an entire class, i guess few understand what exactly am i teaching. . It all goes down to presentation skill i guess. . i never been good at it. . How can you just get those concepts across to these students, such that they will understand and listen to you. . It's a skill to be learned, im disappointed with myself for the failure at this area. . This itself i know is the single most crucial part of teaching, and i know im havent done a good job because of this. . I always seek to make up for this by providing solutions, doing walk downs to tutor those who don't understand during lessons. . No matter how lousy i am, trust me, for i trust myself for that, that i always try to do the best i can. . I respect those who bring themselves out well, those who are able to drill concepts into the students mind, someone like azhar. . he's been doing very well. . we all think he's a gifted teacher. . For me, i do hope that experience will groom me to a better presenter. . i dont pray to become one who speak fantastic english and present himself like an US presidential candidate, but i want to be someone, who when even speaking broken english, can let the students understand concepts, listen to your teachings. . that's a teacher. . I love teaching, and i can say that i will want to be a teacher. . i dare to say this even when i havent been anywhere good at it so far. . But when im really go into teaching one day, i will be better, i seriously hope so. . Alright, i won't make it sounds as though it has been disastrous experience. . in fact, the experiences have been positive, pretty enjoyable at times. . For all the classes i take, 4E2, 4E5 and 4E6, they are all a bunch of pretty nice pupils. . i do enjoy taking their classes. . Being with them sometimes makes me feel as though ive returned to my old secondary school days. . and in them, i see traces of myself and my class back at the good old times. . I learned things from them as well. . it may even appears that it is more fruitful for me than from them. . Finally, i love my bowen experience. . it will not be a full stop as yet. . Sunday, May 18, 2008 Im losing my job soon. . As the june holiday approaches. .Tuitions gonna stop, many of them going on holidays and ive finally decided to pass joanne and joyce to chen laoshi. . I guess it will be most beneficial to them this way. . Joyce is okie, i can see her improving, even though sometimes she behaves crazily. . but joanne, she's kinda drove me mad most of the times. . she's so young, so cute, but she's really slow in her learning. . it's difficult to teach. . i have to admit that i don't have the patient to guide her. . already she's not performing well academically, may be a female tutor who's can be fiecer will make her better. . It's been pretty slack life ever since examinations started and ended. . some times, quite lost at what to do. . i cant possibly be going out spending money every day. . given the current state of my income. . Ive recently made a purchase of 200 bucks worth of clothings. . 2 polo tees, 2 shorts and 1 pair of converse canvas. . not bad huh. . shopping spree again, i had quite a number of shopping sprees this year and always have to convince myself that it's right to spend. . there's some sort of psychological imbalance in me that makes me feel comfortable after spending on clothes. . yucky. . I met up with da ming xing, xu ya hui on wednesday. . well. . not me alone. . with jerry. . it was the first time ive saw her since she took up celebrity status and. . she appears to be still the same old person we have known her, except, probably the make up she wears when she's out. . we had some good catching up session and will be meeting again on thursday, back to school for badminton. . that's what she suggested. . i could sense she's putting in efforts to bring back friends that have drifted away since she went to stardom. . we should be pretty much appreciative of that. . Im loving tennis. . though at this stage im still rather lousy at it. . i don't aspire to be a pro, i just want to play reasonably well so that i can feel the fun and excitement of the game. . im keen to make it one of my cca, and if i can play it more often, then i will be good, then i can teach others how to play too. . Thursday, May 08, 2008 I guess exams are almost over. . and at last, it marks the end of these few days of intensive tuition sessions. .it's like the first day of this week that i have not have to rush to tuition after school in the morning. . it's kinda tiring. . and im tired now. . freak weather been causing extra fatigue that's accumulated and some times i can just nearly doze off during the tuitions. . it took amazing determination not to do so. . though ive been appearing to be rather busy, it was not exactly so. . to school in the morning im just going for classes for invigilation duties. . which is like 3 half an hours duties per day? outside invigilation time i got plenty of time to slack, read magazine and idle. . it's relax but well, im someone who cant stand idling. . i wish i can have some scripts to mark, like the rest. . it's getting boring. . by now my e math students had all completed their last maths paper. . it doesnt look good at all. . . im getting lost at what to do with the kinda results they are producing. . how can i help them, that's a big question that linger on my mind whenever i see them. . they are really weak and there's a giant obstacle that shows the limit that i can go to help them. . im lacking of capability, resources. . i got around 1 more month before i ceased my work there and go back to studies and i seriously hope to see them becoming better before i leave, that will be an astounding achievement to me. . nevertheless, at least now i can see a few good thing coming out. . some students are proactively seeking my help and there's improvement in their attitude too. . great, but i hope it's not just only during exam period. . ive gone for countless invigilations right now. . you can be surprised that invigilation is more tiring than going to lessons. . standing down there and gazing your eyes at the students is strenous, you feel so tired after an hour or so. . i have through many exams and the scene was never so interesting. . as an invigilator, ive got this observation about students doing examinations. . i call it 'swimming'. . the students will be buring their head on the papers, vigorously scribbling non-stop at their scripts, then occasionally, they will raise their head up, look around at the surrounding, take a deep breath and returns to the paper. . It was a scene i witnesses countless time, and it truly looked like the one where people swim, using breaststroke. . taking a deep breath, dive into the water then come up and take a deep breath again. . amusing. . my desktop is back to life again. . but my songs, photos and whatever crap that used to be inside is gone. . it cant even read chinese characters. . pathetic. . feel like getting laptop soon and throw away this lousy piece of crap metal. . i want my songs back, and the handicap of reading chinese is making the task of downloading songs impossible. . i cant even amend and update the songs ranking here. . after the third lesson of tennis, i feel kinda better at it now. . not till the extent where i can hit and return with ease, but i guess i don't feel that noob anymore. . it's really damn fun, if you know how to play. . i wanna be good enough to play the game with ease such that i can have another option to spend my freetime. . way to go! Saturday, May 03, 2008 Soccer in the morning. . Cancelled. . Tuition in the evening. . Cancelled. . So that wrapped up my saturday. . I slept and slack all the way till now, the time, 6.30 pm. .Isnt life a joke? when you are so busy, things kept coming till you are out of your breath. . when you are left with not a single things on your hand, nothing comes and you just wait to rot at one corner. . It's been kinda busy, tuition after school on wed, thurs and fri, then tuition on sat and sun too. . sleep was never enough. . so now, i guess i had replenished some of the lost sleep over the past weeks. . but it's becoming kinda no life already. . well after exams are over, school holiday starts, im gonna relax. . i hope i can go overseas. . i want to go clubbing too. . so all that to look forward to. . . That smu reply took too long to come. . i have gave up 90% of the hope. . 80% settled to go to NUS architecture. . everybody kept saying good when they heard im going aki. . good too i thought. . sounds kinda zai to be in there. . never mind if feel zai and doing zai is different thing. . the feeling counts now, doing well or badly counts later. . That tennis lesson is a thoughout demoraliser man. . Feels like shit in there. . The coach had separated us into two side. . obviously one the better, the other the lousier one. . needless to mention which i am in. . there, there's left with 3. . struggling to master the basic few strokes while the others are freely practising their newly acquired skills, stroking the ball across the court with ease. . nothing is better a way to silent me. . you successfully in making me feel like shit, you did it. . my silent continue till i get myself promoted to the next level. . |
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Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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