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Sunday, June 22, 2008 I could remember vividly. . it wasnt too long ago. . less than 1 hour before this moment. .Suddenly, it became torturously painful. . Not the kind of pain that you feel when you got a deep cut or something, it's something that i felt so hard to stand. . It threw me into a sudden fit of shivering. . And as the harsh wind blew on my legs, shoulders and face, all which were uncovered by the cloths that were on me, the pain intensified. . i wouldnt want to move an inch more if i could, as every slight movement make the pain more unbearable. . Mustering all my endurance, i tried to reach for my windbreaker and waterproof pant from the box as i continued to shiver in the coldness. . Finally, after a hell of a struggle, i got them out and put them on. . it eased the intensity, yet not entirely rid of it. . i was suffering every minute on the road till i reached home. . at last. . it was over. . i was pillioning Jerry back from our night cycling at that point of time. .when it started to drizzle and rain on our way back. . At first the chill was bearable, yet as the rain got heavier, it became too much for me to continue riding. . As i stopped by the roadside, i found myself shivering helplessly. . I was at my weakest. . and i saw my weakest. . Monday, June 16, 2008 Do you think im childish. .? Im think im very very childish. .and i cant help it. . Not only that. . i think im quite stupid too. . but since stupid is a relative term, i will say im not smart. . Dont ask me when am i thinking it this way. . it's a combination of incidents. . i just want to vent my unhappiness here. . because some things i wouldnt prefer to tell. . not to anyone. . Smile. . smile even when it's at the worst. . Yes im wearing it now. . just that i dont feel a single good inside. . Heaven seemed forgotten to bless me with certain things in life. . im struggling to get hold of them. . Saturday, June 14, 2008 One of those days i feel like shit. .Look forward to soccer with so much enthusiasm and it turned out to be a horrendous outing. . Don't play anymore, just go home and sleep. . im thinking it this way. . Im pretty pissed off with the way we played. . im sorry if i had shouted on the court. . it was not directed at anyone. . i just cant help but to let my anger be let off instantaneously. . Against Nic's team and the NYJC team, we looked like easy meat to them. . I seriously hate it, especially when the way we were playing wasnt even close to putting in a good fight with them. . Im frustrated. . im not in the best of mood these few days. . wish i can just close my eyes and forget all the things. . Im blogging! Im blogging because i feel like im the least busy man on earth. . Im blogging because i really feel bored. . I feel like im wasting time. . but im too lazy. . too lazy to find something to do. . Wednesday, thursday, friday. . I stayed at home except tuitions. . im damn like. . no life. .? everyone's busy with a job, except me. . cant expect myself to go out everyday and waste my hard earned money? Already that damned bike is giving me hell of a problem that ive been sending it to the workshop for repairs once and again. . splashing cash again and again. . Life aint easy. . Never feel good to be in any state. . Slack too much you feel guilty, play too much you feel guilty too. . Work too hard you find it too tiring. . Never work you find it too uneasy. . Haiz. . Im so useless now. . need to find ways to make myself useful. . I just hope the weather is good tomorrow morning. . Playing soccer. . Soccer is like my escape from reality right now. . Only in soccer i really find myself. . where i really can indulge and truly let go. . Monday, June 02, 2008 Im really feeling very vexing. . It's like. . so many things on my mind. . so many things that i have got to settle, it's kinda driving me crazy. .This afternoon's event was had gave me a hell of a time. . I rode to woodland for tuition. . I was able to start the vehicle, it all went off smoothly. . Never did i know that the vehicle suddenly failed to start when i was prepared to ride back home. . I broke sweat to try to get it started. . but to no avail. . Such a heavy vehicle, i was pushing it here and there, down the slope and even up the slope. . Finally i gave up in desperation. . Called the bike shop fella and requested for towing. . Spoke to one the guy on the phone, i wasnt sure whether he understand what i was saying, he was like, got no clue of where the hell i was at. . somehow he just said ok, got my details and hung up. . Im not sure how this thing gonna be settle, i just really pissed off that the vehicle give me this kinda problem at this timing, and i have to fork out money now to fix it. . It's not gonna end like this, not until they called me and tell me that the vehicle has already been towed. . I wouldnt be surpised that when i returned tomorrow, my vehicle is still left there, not towed. . Pissed off. . why the hell am i paying for such a crap motorcycle. . And then, my university thingy still not yet settled. . The damned SMU still not yet reply back to me regarding my application. . Cant they just quickly tell me if i am rejected. . This is freaking inefficient. . I needa confirm my NUS admission by this week and get all the administration stuffs settled soon. . 我好烦! |
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Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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