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Sunday, October 26, 2008 There aint a time better than now to put in a post. . .How do i describe my state of emotion now. . ? pretty much of a mixture i guess. . I remember a moment ago i was in a total rage and disarray. . now. . slightly better. . im still kinda pissed off and probably a little amused. . alright. . im nuts. . im weird. . . Just what kinda fucking luck am i having. . ? forgive the vulgar, i just feel like cursing. . I cant remember when is the last time i lost my wallet but this time, the consequence is too much devastating. . In it. . my IC, my license, my debit cards, my matric card, the cash of $70. . im not too sure if there's any more valuable inside. . but the stake itself is obviously already too big . . I feel like kicking myself on the thought of the inconvenience that will come my way. . I need my matric card to access my room in hall, i need to go back to school to do my work overnight and i will need to access my room. . arghhhhhhh. . . damn it. .!! this came at a really really bad time. . i got no time to settle all these. . tomorrow is sun, mon is a public holiday. . and this week to come will be filled with lotsa submission. . where the hell can i find the time to settle all these. . this seriously. . screwed. . i blamed it on my luck. . obviously. . im just fucking careless. . i should blame myself. . luck is just the scapegoat. . Monday, October 06, 2008 I havent been doing well. . and i wander if i ever gonna do well. . and that's what you get for not doing your forte. . .There's no textbook to teach you, not guide to the dummies, im purely walking blindfoldedly in search of the light of knowledge in this field im in. . i havent got a life for very long. . and i have realised it's not my time any more. . particularly when this workshop is a group project. . Im with oscar and sean in a group. . seriously i felt like the weakest link in there. . i seriously is. . most of the time im damn lost in whatever they are discussing. . Da vincl's mechanism whatsoever. . i won't need to explain too much that i am never into these, such was why i didnt even consider engineering in my choice. . well. . i just hope i won't screw things up for them. . and i felt remorseful for not really able to contributing. . I really start to consider myself stupid. . . as compared to them, my brain looks so small. . either army has made me stupid or i have been stupid all along, just that i never actually realised that. . Not sure if i am really busy. . but i found myself so tired all the time. . tendered in two essays for submission for the week. . then i have soccers and stuffs . . im struggling to balance my tuitions. . it's the exam period and everyone is like asking for extra tuitions . . the thing is i don't have the time. . i should just be a full time teacher and forget about this archi degree. . i went for hall soccer and i just not playing well. . my teammates must be thinking what a joker is doing in the team. . i pretty much appreciate that chee kun, the captain is still putting some faith in me. . It's down to 24 in the squad and if this continue, i doubt i can keep my place in the first team for the next game. . damn screwed. . hall wise im not making too many friends so far. . i don't really bother already. . busy with so much stuffs right now where can i still find the energy to socialise. . the fact is that i don't even know what are the things that are happening. . eating macdonald in faculty so often that i hardly joined them for dinner in hall. . tell me how to make friend this way then. . i have lost faith, confidence. . i need a life, need some leisure, some fun, some new that can make me happy, i need plenty of sleep, yet i want to do well in school. . So screwed. . |
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Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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