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Sunday, June 18, 2006 I look desperate. . . don't i. . ? Yes. . . Maybe i 'm really desperate. . . desperate to make the best use of my ns time. . . desperate to pick up new things. . . desperate to wipe away the rusts in my brain. . .Learning guitar. . . taking up motorbike course. . . i'm trying. . . and giving my best in everything i do. . . even for normal physical training in camp. . . But yet i realised. . . i'm a slow learner. . . i pick up things so much slower than others. . . and things just sometimes get really difficult. . . Friday's IMT was a repetition of another awful bmt experience. . . While firing a SAR21 was a completely new thing to me. . . . i witnessed so many first-timers passed their shooting after their first round of firing and while i couldn't even pass my shooting after my third round. . . Bobo shooter. . . What a shame. . . It's awkward and embarrassing. . . I could just say shooting is not my forte. . . yet you can't conceal the fact that this is not an excuse. . . Been training hard for the week. . . I suddenly transformed into a garang soldier. . . putting in so much effort during trainings. . . Great performances during trainings. . . and naturally others have high expectation of you. . . Saturday's SOC. . . Many expected me to pass. . . so much so that i was so optimistic about passing. . . Doing SOC was hell. . . and i would have been so thankful to god if i had managed to got through. . . I never wanna go through SOC for a second time. . . It was a disappointment. . . i reached the end point. . . expended every last bit of my energy and realised the awful truth. . . 10 08. . i failed. . . Came back for my second motorbike lesson. . . and though everything appears to be going very well. . . clearly it's not. . . At the end of the lesson, i received a stern advice from my instructor. . . He said. . "if you continue to be so nervous during your lesson and not knowing when to change your gear and use you brake, your progress will be very slow. . " Simple words, but yet they were harsh to me. . . While i was kinda delighted with my progress, managing to move onto the larger circuit only during my second lesson, the instructor words stucked me really hard. . . It's hard to describe the kinda impact that it has on me, but i could say he was right. . . Moving on to the large circuit, riding on it for the first time, i was totally at a lost of what to do. . . This was the time i got so nervous and tense up that my mind just went hazewire. . . screwing up. . i just scrambled my way throughout the whole rundown. . . It was a typical characteristictic of me. . . Like a virus in me that courses me to panick and then hinder the progress in whatever i do. . . Monday's another SOC test again. . another round of hell. . . i pray that i can make it this time and get it done with once and for all. . . Meanwhile. . . hope that my determination will keep me going while learning my new trades. . . It takes tremendous patience and determination. . . but believing is always the key to success. . . |
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Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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