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Saturday, July 08, 2006 I simply can't hide my disappointment. . . We lost 1-0, lost the match, the final. . . lost the title. . . I gave what i could. . . but it wasn't good enough. . . So much expectation on myself. . . a former school team player. . . so eager to prove myself to everyone. . .I have every reason to be upset with my performance. . . I didn't feel i have perform up to standard and i have been just 'too lousy'. . . I haven't convince others that i am good and i haven't made others take the eyes off poh yi feng. . . All the while they have been talking about ah poh as he's call when it comes to soccer, and i wanted my name to be imprinted in their mind too. . . I don't deny that i took pride in my ability in soccer. . . I wanna hear applaud and praises from the audience to tell me that i've played well. . . And i thought i managed to do that. . . in the first match. . . Somehow, i save the match with a block off the line which enable them to win the match 1-0 eventually. . It appears to be a coincidence block as one of the platoon sergeant who know nuts about soccer claimed. . . but we know clearly it takes something to be at the right place at the right time to make saves like this. . . anyway, until the first match, i was pretty pleased with how things were going for me. . . With some luck, we managed to snap up a wild card to enter directly into the final. . . It was then, a turning point. . . We got many chances on goal but obviously lady luck wasn't on our side this time. . . A twist of fate, we found ourselves one goal down after 3/4 of the time played. . . I felt responsible. . . It was scored from my side and yet i could do nothing to prevent the goal . . . We have to settle for second place and i could see all the effort that i had put in action gone with this. . . In the end, i did not impress and i didn't receive any credit, poh yi feng was still their no.1 soccer player in the company. . . Second place. . . second place seems the furthest i can get in whatever competition i've played. . . Last year soccer inter-house, this year battalion's game. . . When will i get my first. .? I haven't kept my promise to myself. . . and i'm suffering from the bitterness now. . . My intention wasn't like this. . . Mailed the tickets and disappear, that was what i should have done. . . I should not have went to see her at all. . . Didn't i said to disappear from her world is the best thing for both of us. .? And now, it makes me feel very depressed. . . I couldn't control myself. . . The thoughts that she will be coming made me so eager to go and see her. . . I did, but what's the point. . .? We gonna part and not meet again for another long time. . . Even until after the show was over, i couldn't find the excuse to see her once more. . . Seeing her once more and parting for so long, it not good feeling. . . The more i see her, the more i felt i missed and wanna see her another time. . . I like to walk when i'm feeling upset. . . As i walk, thoughts just flew into my mind and i can think about alot of things. . . This time, i took a 15 minutes walk from kallang stadium to the bus stop where i took a bus home. . . I'm inferior. . . Maybe i'm not good enough. . . I look at others, so many good looking guys on the street, with ranks in army, our serval pc. . . sense of humour and outspoken, tay thiam sin. . . so many so many other guys better than me. . . why should she choose me. .? Trememdous sadness, and i was starting to hate myself for loving her so much. . . I love her and yet there's very limited things to do. . . I wish she know how i really feel, i wish she know that i feel so saddened everytime we part. . . And suddenly i wish she tell me, she will never ever fall in love with me. . . i don't want sympathy love, if it's not love then i rather not have anything. . . Indulged in sadness once more. . . give me peace, for i wanna be deep in thoughts. . . i wanna be quiet, i wanna go through this in silent. . . |
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1.罗志祥 - 搞笑
Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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