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Saturday, November 10, 2007 Cheeyong must be waiting for me to post an extremely negative entry today. . .He reads my mind. . I wouldn't call this a very bad day. . just a bad day that i will label it. . . Couple of moments ago i was asking myself, why am i spending time doing all these voluntarily while knowing that i'm really lousy at them. . . i would make a fool of myself, disgrace myself and eventually screwed up the entire programme. . I could only give the excuse that the contents were not easy to be put through so that the kids could understand. . deep in our heart you and me know that the fault lies in your incapability. . . I can be frank to myself here. . . i can't even present a simple powerpoint presentation to the kids. . i'm just like an amateur motorcycle rider. . wobbling all the way. . in the end managed to get to nowhere and fell down instead. . I showed my weakness in front of everybody. . where 8 out of 10 of them are strangers to me. . at a place where i command a place as volunteer, like a teacher to the kids. . yet portrayed an extremely nervous front while presenting, as if a signal to them that this person is pretty much of an useless character. . Tried as hard as i might, this weakness that followed me throughout my secondary and junior college life continues to haunt even up to today. . I aim to impress, but so far i had mostly disgraced. . The presentation part had struck me the hardest, because it reminded me of a long spell of such handicap in me. . and i would easily sank deeper into misery for the part that came next. . We built a model volcano using plasticine, intending to show the kids a vigourous reaction that resemble a volcano eruption. . the first demonstration totally didn't work. . i was left down there in front of everyone. . i repeat the experiment the same way for another couple of times and when it still didn't work, my brain just suddenly went blank. . i looked to victor, seeking for help. . somehow he managed to get them back into the room for some games and i got some help from the rest to do another demonstration. . it didn't turn out any spectacular, but at least it was considered done. . haiz. . i guess i have failed terribly as person isn't it. . they say a person should always hide his/her weakness. . look at mine. . weaknesses that you can see even without knowing me personally. . they say a man shouldn't practise self-pity, look at me. . i don't pity myself perhaps. . i'm just pretty upset about myself that's all. . |
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1.罗志祥 - 搞笑
Profile Name: Chen Zhicai (Call me Keith!) Addictions Hangouts: K box, K pool Objectives Sometimes, what you want in life may not be what you will achieve in life. Sometimes, what you want in life will change as you came to realise of your limitations and constraints. Careers Team: Full-time v3 player archives September 2005 Tag Me!
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